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<title>To Get To The Prime We Must First...NO I DO NOT WANT TO LICK YOUR POOBS by Revelation_Dis</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22919581">To Get To The Prime We Must First...NO I DO NOT WANT TO LICK YOUR POOBS</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Revelation_Dis/pseuds/Revelation_Dis'>Revelation_Dis</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Crack [15]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Absurd, Bad Accents, Crack, Gen, absurdity, double trouble is a troll, insane troll logic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 05:43:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>538</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22919581</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Revelation_Dis/pseuds/Revelation_Dis</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The Princess Alliance, along with Shadow Weaver and Double Trouble, must figure out a way to rescue Glimmer, and Catra.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Crack [15]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1521995</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>To Get To The Prime We Must First...NO I DO NOT WANT TO LICK YOUR POOBS</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>One day the Princess Alliance, minus Glimmer because she was currently making out with Catra on Horde Prime’s ship, was trying to figure out how to rescue Glimmer. Everyone was stumped, even Double Trouble! “Ugh, this is worse than that time I played both Shadow Weaver, and Hordak in that play about Swift Wind!”</p><p>
  <i>Flashback</i>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <i>Double Trouble as Hordak looked at something, “My eyes and my emo boy penis are for Entrapta only!”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Then they shapeshifted to be Shadow Weaver, “But, Hordak! I saw Adora’s curtains and they turned me straight!”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Wud dju liek to lick me poobs?” Adora!Double Trouble asked in a very bad cockney British accent.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“DID SOMEONE SAY THE COMMUNIST MANIFESTO??” Swift Wind!Double Trouble asked.</i>
</p><p>“Full offense, DT, but that play was awful,” Mermista snarked.</p><p>“UH!” Double Trouble said, offended, “but thank you for the criticism.”</p><p>“Okay! Can we stop talking about DT’s terrible play and focus on the task at hand?” Adora asked, </p><p>Everyone nodded, including Shadow Weaver.</p><p>“Wait! What’s Shadow Weaver doing here? I thought this was for the alliance only?” Scorpia questioned.</p><p>“Hey, yeah, why are you here?” Frosta asked.</p><p>“I’m a princess!” Shadow Weaver answered, “A Disney Princess!” she elaberated.</p><p>“Yeah, no, that doesn’t count,” Mermista replied.</p><p>Everyone else agreed with her.</p><p>“But you need my help!” Shadow Weaver protested.</p><p>Adora groaned, “Other than trying to seduce Horde Prime, and let’s be honest, you’re no spring chicken...how can you possibly help us?”<br/>Shadow Weaver glared for a moment, then retained her composure, “You need me to tell you how to take down Horde Prime.”</p><p>“And how would we do that, Darling?” Steven Universe asked.</p><p>Out of nowhere, Shadow Weaver conjured a white board and marker. “Now that we are where the stars are, I’ve been studying them for sometime now. Currently our planet is in alignment with the planet Mars which is in the sign of Gemini. Gemini are known as the twins. Horde Prime has several clones. Adora has a twin brother. Mars is associated with Ares, the god of war. Horde Prime is a warlord. When you take Horde Prime, Hordak, Adora, Gemini, and Mars you get 111, 57, 39, 57, and 51. Add these numbers together and you get 315. Separate the numbers and add them together, and you get 9. 9 multiplied by any number always adds back to itself. 9 is the Pride number, Horde Prime is a proud creature. In order to defeat Horde Prime we must go after his pride! We must...make fun of his tiny dick!”</p><p>Everyone gazed vacantly at Shadow Weaver. “That doesn’t seem like it’d work,” Bow said hesitantly.</p><p>“And making fun of someone for something they can’t control seems really mean,” Scorpia said.</p><p>“I agree, and besides, if Horde Prime has a small dick then why would he give Hordak such an impressive member?” Entrapta.</p><p>“Ew, you saw Hordak’s dick?” Jake the Dog asked.</p><p>Entrapta blushed, “I caught him in the shower one day.”</p><p>Everyone nodded with understanding. Everyone except Adora, who just looked completely lost. </p><p>“Wait, I have a twin brother?” she asked.</p><p>“Oh yes! But you absorbed him in the womb!” Shadow Weaver explained.</p><p>“Man, that is totally fucked up,” Sea Hawk dead panned.</p>
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